Sunday, May 8, 2011

There's always a first. Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's day to you.
I hope this finds you on a sunny Sunday wherever you are.
I am planning on planting a few flowers with my girls today.
And then off to the movies tonight with my sister, Holly.
The movies with Holly is one of my favorite things to do.
I am glad it is on my list.
We usually go to brunch at Holly's brother-in-law's golf club.
Today we took a pass, but will continue the
tradition next year.
I wanted to wish you all a happy day, but I do
want to tell you.

This Mother's Day is a first for me.

A first since my Mom's death in late November.
She was a caring and generous human being.
She was a selfless Mother and loved us completely.
Despite all of this,
my lovely Mom took her own life.
She battled all that is unseen by most eyes.
I struggled with whether to write any of this on this blog.
This blog, which is my escape.
I think the truth always stings, but it is a part of me, of my life.
I am a happy person, for most, if not all of my life.
This one act will shape my future.
Every death is a wake up call to live more fully, more completely, more presently.
Losing my Mom to her sadness has been life altering.
Life shaping.
I love my Mom, I miss her, I still need her, and I forgive her.

Your Grandkids miss you Mom ~ xo Jenny


Danni said...

Hey Lady,
It's almost tomorrow and with that being made it through today. This is beautifully written and straight from your heart which is not always easy for you. I think it was healthy for you...and perhaps without even realizing helped to heal you just a little bit more. I've said this before, but I will again....your mom is so proud of you...she always was and is maybe even more proud of you now for the way you are honoring her, forgiving her and LIVING your life with pride. How could she not be proud of you AND Holly. You two are beautiful, incredible women and mothers...I'm blessed to know you both and forever grateful to call you my best friend. Enough maple syrup? I love's to tomorrow!

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